A Seminar with Seamands, Part 2

I pray that these seminar teachings from Dr. David Seamands inspire and illuminate you as they have us over the years. We continue here with the second part of A Seminar With Seamands. So many sons and daughters through the 44 years of our ordained ministry have blessed us along the way, and it is only right that we pass these blessings on to you. We all learn from others, and anyone who says they don’t is more than likely unteachable. I for one throughout my life have stood on the shoulders of many gifted servants of God, and I thank God for each and everyone of them. We continue now with the most dynamic teaching on FORGIVENESS AND FORGIVING  that we have ever heard.

On another beautiful May morning in Minnesota in 1986, Dr. David Seamands led hundreds of pastors and their wives in a devotional on the subject of FORGIVENESS and FORGIVING. We share only some of the insights with you from one of the richest teachings on forgiveness that we had ever heard. (Along the way, again my comments will be in parentheses.) I thank my wife Ruth for writing her hand off taking exhaustive notes at the Seamands Seminar, as she did at all of the seminars we attended over the years.

THROUGH CHRIST I CAN

Dr. Seamands began by telling us the story of a pastor friend of his who visited a 45 year old unsaved woman in the hospital. The pastor said to her, “God has sent me here to tell you something.” She said, “Don’t mention God to me, I’ve been a terrible person. I can’t pray.” She then went back to when her mother died. On the night of the funeral she and her brother got stone drunk and slept together. From that day on she lost all self-respect and went into an immoral and promiscuous life. The pastor said, “God sent me here to tell you that He loves you, and that in His Son Jesus Christ He has forgiven you. But you must believe and accept His forgiveness”

Dr. Seamands gave us this principle:

“IN ONE SENSE GOD HAS FORGIVEN EVERYONE. BUT THAT FORGIVENESS

IS NOT ACTUALIZED UNTIL WE ASK FOR IT AND RECEIVE IT.”

The pastor kept on repeating God’s love and forgiveness for her in Christ. She promised him that she would try to believe. That night she died, but before she did, she accepted God’s forgiveness in Jesus Christ. And she left this message for the preacher, “Preacher man, I did believe and am at peace. It’s all okay.”

(How awesome it is to know that God’s grace of forgiveness in Jesus Christ covers the past, it covers the future, and it covers us where we are now, even in the depth of sin if we only repent and believe.)

Then Dr. Seamands shared with us a story told by Dr. Wayne Oats. A 13 year old boy named Tommy was the son of very angry parents. One day he almost in a fit of rage choked his sister. They had to pull him off to save her life. From that day on he was overwhelmed with guilt and said to those who tried to approach him, “God hates me and wants me to die.” He eventually not only stopped speaking but he also stopped eating. They had to take him to the hospital for he was weakened unto death.

Dr. Wayne Oats who knew the boy, went to the hospital and visited the lad. He said to the boy, “I’m Wayne, and God has told me to tell you that he understands why you got so angry that day. He told me to tell you that He loves you and that He forgives you and wants you to eat. Tommy then said to him, “Okay, then I’ll take a bowl of soup.”  

Dr. Seamands then reminded us of what we must preach to and teach our listeners and share with our counselees, namely what Paul said in Philippians 4:13,

“I can do all things through Him (Christ) who strengthens me.”

At times it is very hard to accept forgiveness, and even harder to give forgiveness. But Paul assures us this:

“I CAN ACCEPT FORGIVENESS AND GIVE FORGIVENESS, I AM ABLE

FOR EVERYTHING IN CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME.”

The principle is this in all disciplines of the Christian life:

“IT IS NEVER MY ABILITY BUT MY AVAILABILITY WORKING

THROUGH HIS ABILITY IN ALL THINGS.”

How often we hear people say something like this, “God has forgiven me, but I cannot forgive myself.” There are two glaring lies in that statement:

• Lie # 1 – I cannot forgive myself. Why a lie? We can do all things through Christ’s enabling.
• Implied Lie # 2 – I must remember my sins. Why a lie? Because God remembers our sins no more! (Hebrews 10:17) If God can blot part of His omniscience, He can help me blot out my finite remembrance. 

Dr. Seamands than told us that in every British ship there is “A Still.” The “British Still” is a whistle on board that signals a time to be still before the battle. When “The Still” is blown everyone stops what he or she is doing and stands at attention and says:

“I AM BRITISH. I AM TRAINED. I CAN DO IT.”

So we must blow the still and say:

“I AM A BELIEVER. I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST

WHO STRENGTHENS ME.”

• I can receive complete forgiveness from God.
• I can forgive all those who have hurt me.
• I can forgive myself. 

GOOD GUILT

We are reminded of the well known words of I John 1:8-10,

“If we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and
to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

“If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.”

Dr. Seamands noted 3 great defense mechanisms at work in us that prevent us from authentically receiving God’s forgiveness in Christ for out sins:

First, we live in denial. We lie to ourselves about our sins, thereby deceiving ourselves. Fact:

“THE UNIVERSAL HUMAN TENDENCY IS TO COVER UP AND HIDE

THAT WHICH CAUSES HURTFUL SHAME AND GUILT.”

Second, we rationalize to justify our misbehavior. Fact:

“THERE ARE 2 REASONS IN US FOR EVERYTHING, THE RATIONALIZED

REASON AND THE REAL REASON.”

Third, we project by blaming others for our failures. Our parents and for sure Satan are always handy blame targets. Fact:

“WE DON’T LIKE FEELING THE GUILT OF OUR FAILURES, SO

WE PUSH IT OFF ON SOMEBODY ELSE.”

An old aunt was babysitting a young granddaughter who when she got mad would go into temper tantrums in which she would spit and hit. Dear old auntie would say to her in those moments, “Honey, the devil is making you do it.” To which the granddaughter once responded, “Grandma, the devil made me do the kicking and the screaming, but the spitting was my idea.” 

(Sometimes people ask God for forgiveness out of ‘selfishness’ and not out of ‘sincerity.’ They just want to get rid of the guilt rather than personally accepting the blame before God. Personal guilt has to be borne by us and confessed before it can be lifted from us by God through the blood of Jesus Christ. In that case and in that moment it is “Good Guilt.” So often we feel like we are the victims and not the victimizers. God will not forgive those who lie to Him and to themselves. (I John 1:8-10))

So we must remember this in our own lives and as we minister forgiveness in the lives of others:

“WE CANNOT CONFESS TO GOD WHAT WE DON’T FIRST OF

ALL CONFESS TO OURSELVES.”

If you will:

“GOD IS TRUTH  AND REALITY, AND HE CANNOT BLESS

UNTRUTH AND UNREALITY.” 

Too often, people will be non-specific in their confession and in that way avoid the real sin and deflect the guilt away from themselves. They generalize it all at the end of a benign prayer with the usual prayer-exit strategy, “And forgive our sins, Amen.” The problem with that is this:

“GENERALIZED CONFESSIONS RECEIVE GENERALIZED FORGIVENESS

RESULTING IN GENERALIZED NON-PERSONAL

RELATIONSHIPS WITH GOD.”

(Life is never made up of generalities but always specifics. But when we always generalize our confession, that way we can never receive what Paul in Philippians 4: 7 calls,

“And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding….”

Remember:

“WE WILL NEVER RECEIVE GOD’S SURPASSING PEACE BY

BYPASSING THE TRUTH.”)

THE KEY RELATIONAL ISSUE

The principle is this:

“FORGIVING OTHERS AND BEING FORGIVEN BY GOD ARE THE KEY

RELATIONAL ISSUES FOR SALVATION IN THE  SCRIPTURES.”    

We may not like this, but remember:

“THERE ARE NO MERITORIOUS CONDITIONS FOR SALVATION AND

FORGIVENESS, HOWEVER RECEIVING IT IS CONDITIONED BY

OUR RESPONSE IN FORGIVING OTHERS.”

If you will:

“GOD HAS SO CREATED US THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO RESPOND TO

HIS GRACE OF FORGIVENESS WITHOUT FORGIVING OTHERS.”  

We may not like the sound of all of that, but it is as clear as day in Scripture.  (As long as we allow  so-and-so to get under our skin, we bring ourselves under judgment. Who is still under our skin?) Jesus said in Matthew 6:12 that we are to pray,

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

He then went on in the Sermon on the Mount to say in Matthew 6:14-15,

“For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your Heavenly Father

will forgive you.”

“But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive

your transgressions.” 

Then in Matthew 18 Jesus tells the story about the mercied but unmerciful servant who had been gigantically forgiven of personal debt by his master but wouldn’t forgive his own debtor a far more minor debt. His master who knew about it turned is unmerciful servant over to the torturers.

 So Jesus states in Matthew 18:35,

“So shall My Heavenly Father also do to you, if each of you does not

forgive his brother from your heart.”

(Did you notice the words, “Forgive from your heart?” True forgiving others must  take place on the deep inner heart level if being forgiven by God can take place on the deep inner heart level – peace that passes understanding.)

Dr. Seamands after many years of faithful ministry read a book that indicated that some forms of asthma are caused by bitterness against parents. He was left by his parents at age 11 and stayed with his grandmother. His parents could not get back from the mission field in India until he was to celebrate his 20th birthday. But throughout his younger and adolescent life, he repressed a lot of hurt and angry feelings. He was a lonely, scared and angry kid. He was often left at a boys dormitory on holidays. Dr. Seamands discovered that the heart of healing is so often forgiving those who hurt us and being forgiven of our resentment. Dr. Seamands was healed of asthma. 

In college a senior student young woman came to see Dr. Seamands with a long list of grievances against her mother. This young woman was living in anger and depression. She knew that she had to forgive her mother without Dr. Seamands telling her. He led her in prayer, and after a long time of wrestling with her torment and hate, she suddenly got up and ran to the office window and let out a whoop with the words,

“I CAN’T GIVE IT UP.”

Dr Seamands asked her, “Why not?” She agonized and screamed,

“IT’S ALL I GOT.”

She didn’t give up her anger, resentment and hatred. She would not forgive her mother. This young woman was living in torment, and her life had gone from one disaster to another. Some years later, Dr. Seamands had the same woman come up to him with tears running down her cheeks. She told him that since she last saw him she had gone through two marriages, two divorces and two nervous breakdowns. She said to him, “I should have given it up,” as she walked away still not able to forgive her mother. 

(So not only is she tormented and burdened by the resentment and hatred that forgiving her mother alone could free from, but also carries the weight of the guilt of never doing the thing that she herself admits she should do but never does. Carrying that double weight of guilt, she can never experience the exhilaration of plunging into life for all she is worth, but like a weakened and weary swimmer must always stay in the shallows.

How many of us are like this woman who wouldn’t give up her need to get even, and with her we continue to drop quarters into the jukebox of revenge and play the same soul-damning raucous record and noises over and over again. Some people, even church people, play it several times every day. And then they wonder why their enthusiasm and effectiveness for the Kingdom of God is so low. No matter what they do or say, their words and deeds in reality are all jagged at the bottom like a serrated knives. Forgiving and forgiveness are life and death matters.)

Dr. Seamands observed:

“PEOPLE HANG ON TO HATES LIKE LOLLIPOPS.”

The key question in forgiving and forgiveness is:

“ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE UP ALL DESIRES TO GET EVEN?”

If you will:

“PEOPLE SAY THEY CAN’T GIVE IT UP, BUT THE KEY ISSUE REMAINS 

THAT IF THEY ARE WILLING FOR GOD TO MAKE THEM

WILLING, THAT ALONE IS WHEN IT CAN HAPPEN.”

(So we must pray the prayer of Christ in the Garden of agony:

“NOT MY WILL BUT THINE BE DONE.”

Then on the cross Jesus was able to pray, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.)

CONCLUSION

We must remember that forgiving and forgiveness must take place on the heart level (Matthew 18:35) and not simply on the head, mouth and word level. Why? First of all because out of the heart come the real issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23) Secondly, and more specifically it is in the heart that the bitterness, anger and hatred are rooted. Remember this principle:

“IF YOU HAVE BAD FRUITS YOU HAVE BAD ROOTS.”

Therefore there can be no whitewashing! The revengeful person must bring out in the open the evil things that were done to him and hurt him so deeply. If we bury the hurt we will bury the hate, and then forgiveness can never take place at the root level. Only when we confess the hurt, the resentment and the hate are we at the level where true forgiveness can happen. Then by an act of our will we can enter into the deep experience of forgiveness and deliverance when we cry out to God:

“FATHER I FORGIVE THEM OF THEIR SINS EVEN AS YOU FORGIVE
ME OF MINE. I GIVE UP ALL URGES AND WAYS TO GET EVEN
WITH THAT PERSON. I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ALL
MY EMOTIONS AND ACTIONS THAT WOULD CON-
TRADICT MY FORGIVING HIM FROM THIS
DAY FORWARD. BY YOUR GRACE I
TURN THAT PERSON OVER TO
YOU AND RELINQUISH HIM
INTO YOUR HANDS. AMEN

(Hardest of all is to accept the fact that you may well have to forgive a person who thus far has not and may never change. Even harder may be the fact that the hurtful person is no longer living. But be assured that resentment and unforgiveness will continually make invisible people excruciatingly visible. So visible that we cannot ever see the face of Jesus.)

Dr. Seamand’s mother was a damaged neurotic woman. He had to forgive her even though she didn’t change. You don’t have to go right out to that person and talk about it. That very person could cut you down so bad again. We must relinquish that person over to the Holy Spirit.

Finally, remember this all important fact:

“FORGIVING IS A CRISIS AND A PROCESS. IT IS A MATTER OF

THE WILL. WHEN I FORGIVE, I COMMIT MYSELF TO BE

WILLING TO CONTINUE THE PROCESS.”

To some people it is like being put through a paper shredder. But once you do it from the heart, the process will become easier.

(Why a process? The devil will come in and ambush us with the same old feelings. He is constantly trying to drag us down over and over  again into the swamp of snapping alligators and make us one of them. Don’t listen to his lies. Restate your forgiveness of that person each time Satan brings up the hurt. If the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed!)